afireinthesnow: (Default)
Title: Forgiven
Chapter: --
Author: [livejournal.com profile] hellcatwriter
Fandom: Primeval



He had once asked her out while delerious, close to death and, oh, he forgot to mention, IN A RELATIONSHIP.

But she still loved him. It was an odd, annoying, confusing-as-all-hell feeling. Heck, her life was confusing nowadays. Anomalies, working for the ARC, taming dinosaurs... her life had become exciting and frightening and very, very confusing, all in a few short days. And Stephen Hart, too... that was a whole lot of crazy that she wasn't sure how to deal with. She'd dated a few men before, but none of them understood the free spirit she was, or her adventurous nature. No other guy but her friends with ARC would understand her fascination with exotic reptiles, or her intense love of her work, despite the fear if often put her through.

But being around Stephen made things very different. She was often distracted by him, which wasn't always the wisest move when she was chasing (or being chased by) a dinosaur, big bug or whatever happened to come through an anomaly.

Still, it had been a bit of an ass move. She was positive he had noticed the way she had been watching him since they had met. How could he not? She hadn't exactly been a master of stealth with her ogling. But letting her go on like that without him mentioning at least once that he had a girlfriend out in some rainforest somewhere? That was cruel. He probably hadn't meant to be like that, but he had gotten her hopes so high up when he had asked her out, even under the effects of the venom of the giant centipede which had bitten him. For a few precious instants she had thought he really wanted to date her.

She thought of that day, the joy she had felt when he had asked her for a date. She smiled slightly, despite the sadness of the moment she was currently in. Stephen was dead, killed by the creatures that had been freed... killed because he could only lock the door to the chamber if he was inside when it closed. The creatures had annihilated him, and she had cried herself to sleep that night. He was gone. Really gone.

And as she thought on that day when she had found out he had a girlfriend, she found she could easily forgive him, and she did. She forgave him for letting her fall for him, letting her love him and at times even showing the tiniest bit of care towards her as well. She forgave him for asking her out, and for getting her hopes up so high.

But no way in hell was she going to forgive him for dying on her. Ever. She just couldn't bring herself to do that, not after the pain it had put the entire team through. Especially Nick Cutter. Oh, especially Cutter. Even Connor had noticed that Nick had been especially hurt by the loss of his best friend. She wished she had had the chance to go back and save Stephen, just to keep Cutter from the agony of the loss, so soon after Helen had proved herself to be, well, not much more than a crazy bitch.

And that was putting it nicely.
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